Home is where the heart is.

For me, that means Mesa Verde 107, and to a lesser extent, UCSD in general. I will be the first to say that this sounds cheesy, but I honestly can't even begin to imagine what my life would be like without the past almost-two years I've spent here. The people I've met, the friends I've made, the experiences I've lived through... I'm certain that they've all worked together to drastically change me from the naive person that walked onto this campus all those months ago. And today, when I came face to face with the possibility of almost losing this home of mine, I was seriously, seriously, scared. The funny thing is that I wasn't so much scared about what I would tell my parents, I was worried and scared about having to find another place to live (that's IF my parents would still let me stay at UCSD in the first place- doubtful) First of all, I'd be homeless. That's scary just to even think about. Second of all, I'd have to deal with the stress of finding a new place to live in the middle of the year, when everyone already has their living arrangements in perfect order for spring quarter. I doubt anyone would tolerate someone trying to throw a monkey wrench into their lives like that. And third of all, I'd miss my friends too much. I know I'd still see them all the time, and that it would only be for a quarter, but things would still change. Where would I go? I can imagine myself now: sitting in some room, living with God-knows-who doing God-knows-what. Studying? I pray it never comes down to that. And it makes me sad to think about it, but I could imagine a situation where I start to slowly drift away. I'd miss an inside joke here, a story there, and bam! I'd find myself out of the loop through no fault of anyone's except the mere fact that it'd be harder for me to be there for them. and maybe my fault for putting myself in that situation in the first place. I know I'm being overdramatic and taking an unlikely situation to the extreme, but it's still a sad situation to think about. 

Which is why I am ECSTATIC that my meeting with the Dean today went well. I mean, she's under the impression that I'm this hardcore, raging alcoholic and she's making me see a therapist for who knows how long, but I'd easily pick this over the alternative- "termination" of my housing contract. I know it wouldn't really be a big deal if I had to leave and that we only have a quarter left on campus, but I'm determined to make this quarter count. And I'm also happy that I get to stay on campus. I mean, what would I do without my friends? They're pretty much all I live for at school. 

And it's these friends I have made that make staying here so worthwhile. I don't think I'd give a flying fuck either way about what happened to me if it wasn't for them. And it makes me realize just how lucky I am to have made such good friends like the ones I have... the kind of friend who comes over to shoot the shit after class and convinces you that there's no reason to be self conscious about yourself (or the brazilian wax she talked you into getting)... the kind of friend who spends an hour teaching you how to play the piano and doesn't give up because of frustration or disgust or a combination of both... or even the kind of friend who you argue with ALL the time but know that you love them to death and wouldn't have it any other way. 

I didn't mean to have this be such a cheesy, "omg-i-love-my-friends" kind of thing. I didn't start out with the intention of writing about my friends, but I think inspiration hit me. That, and I don't remember what I had originally planned to talk about. I guess I'm just happy. Happy that I had a good day today. Happy that I get to stay on campus. and happy that I have a reason for making me want to stay.